Invaision Of Middle Earth
by the41thtie
Summary: what you were just waiting for, Titanic invades middle earth!! This could get messy CHAPTER 5 UP!
1. The Invaision Begins

CAHPTER 1 "The Invasion Begins"  
  
  
  
Authors note: You know you've been waiting for it, Titanic and The Lord of the Rings crossover fan fiction!! Please R and R, and well try to be nice :s  
  
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The Titanic pulled up to the shore of Middle Earth, armed with tanks and guns it moved the entire crew ashore as all the passengers got either rifles, in tanks or pulled the life boats on little wheels filled with supplies.  
  
"There are enough lifeboats of supplies!" the captain had assured them, "We'll be able to take out the elves and orcs in no time!"  
  
But some people where skeptical and decided to remain with the ship, among them was Rose's mother, Mrs. De Witt Bukater who warned her to be careful fighting against the horridly backwards civilization of middle earth, and told her to stick with her fiancé. "Stay away from that awful Jack Dawson!"  
  
"But mom! He saved my life!" she would protest, but in the end gave in and sat by her fiancé in the tank while the party slowly rode over to the Shire.  
  
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Elrond called a secret council meeting about the arrival of the Titanic. Many people came from all over the land to witness the decision of what to do about the evil invasion.  
  
"We must destroy it," Elrond said "It is the only way to win the battle!"  
  
"I know how we shall destroy it," Gandalf spoke up, "We must crash the ship into one of the icebergs off the shore, It is our only hope!"  
  
"I say we use it!" said Boromir "Can you not see what a great weapon this thing would be? We would be able to sail anywhere and defend all of our water!"  
  
"We cannot Boromir!" Aragorn stood up, "The ship will not be worked by our coal, then the ship will be stranded in the middle of nowhere and there are not enough lifeboats on it! Someone must go aboard and destroy it!"  
  
"Yes," Legolas spoke up "we must destroy it!"  
  
"And I suppose you think you're the one to do it!" growled Gimli the dwarf.  
  
"Yes." Replied Legolas  
  
Soon a fight broke out in the council and everyone was fighting until the little Hobbit, Frodo Baggins spoke up, "I will do it! I will destroy the ship!" everyone turned to look at him, "Though I do not know the way."  
  
Soon the entire council had agreed to give Frodo the task, and his company of nine all swore their lives to protect him as Elrond gave him the secret knowledge of how to drive it. The company members were Aragorn son of Arathorn, Legolas Greenleaf, Gimli son of Gloin, Boromir, Meridoc Brandybuck, Perigrin Took, Samwise Gamgee, Frodo Baggins and Gandalf the Grey was to accompany them, to the Shire to defeat the Titanic.  
  
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At Nightfall the crew of the Titanic stopped for a rest and set up camp about five miles inland. Everyone was complaining about the slow progress of the army, but they had to be cautious because no one really knew much about the technology of middle earth, they had to be prepared.  
  
Everyone was glumly walking around camp, including Rose De Witt Bukater who was moping because the man she loved was a poor man and her family needed money. She was in the superior class part of camp when she saw Jack sneak past the guards, she ran over to him and they hugged until Rose said "Jack you cannot be here, if my fiancé catches me…."  
  
Just then he walks out and Rose whispers "Leave…"  
  
"Goodbye." He whispers back as he slips into the darkness.  
  
"Who was that sweetums?" he asks Rose as he walks up to her.  
  
"No one."  
  
  
  
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Well I hope you liked it, I realize, or think that the Lord of The Rings part is better written, well it's cause I like LOTR better than Titanic, but it looks like the battle of Middle Earth has begun.  
  
I can't remember the name of Roses' fiancé; if anyone could r and r telling me who he is then I'd be much appreciated.  
  
(Laura if you're reading this, if its really bad, for the sake of your pride you might want to take me off of your favorite author's list)  
  
!! !!  
  
~ ~ Another creative invention from the DrUnKeN TuRtLe 


	2. Harry Potter?

Chapter 2: Harry Potter?  
  
Authors Note: Thanks to the people who reviewed, I really appreciate that and you got your wish, whether it's a good thing or not remains to be seen and here is Chapter 2!  
  
Ok it is getting a little weird, but, well, maybe some more movies will be added to this.  
  
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Frodo and co. were walking away from Rivendell towards the west coast. Everyone was weary, looking around to make sure they hadn't run into the invading army yet. "They can't move that fast!" exclaimed Frodo, "They just landed." But still Aragorn and Gandalf were weary.  
  
But no one thought to look behind them.  
  
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Rose was walking slowly in front of one of the boats when Jack slid up beside her. "So about the high class chili cookout?"  
  
"What about it?" she responded. Jack had been invited because he had saved Rose from "falling" off a cliff. Cal (A/N: thanks torch), her fiancé had invited him as a thank you.  
  
"Is this good enough to wear?"  
  
"Yeah," she said softly "See ya tonight!"  
  
"Toodles."  
  
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All of a sudden Frodo's head whipped around.  
  
He paused in the middle of the road as if listening to something and everyone turned to look at him and he exclaimed, "Get off the path!"  
  
Everyone jumped off the path just in time as a group of chickens waddled past.  
  
"Bock, bock, bock, bock ,bock, bock bock, bock, bock, bock, boooock…"  
  
"Hey isn't that the Harry Potter theme?" Sam inquired.  
  
"I think so…" Legolas shifted his eyes around, "This story is just getting weirder."  
  
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Jack walked down to the high-class tents wearing his best military outfit. He took Rose by the arm in her military corset and walked her over to the fire. The chili pot hung over the fire cooking as everyone discussed their riches. Everyone seemed to think Jack had just run into a gold mine, or "new money".  
  
Everyone had a splendid time except for Cal, who seemed to be getting more jealous every minute.  
  
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That night everyone set up camp and Boromir had the first watch. He kept thinking, "My God, My God, My God, My God." For Boromir knew something the others didn't, the legend of the Bocking Chickens.  
  
In the distance you could still hear them bocking around their own campfire.  
  
"Bock, Bock Bock, Bock, Bock, Bock, Bock, Bock, Bock, Bock, Bock, Bock, Booock…"  
  
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Ok, so that is the strange and demented Chapter 2. When will Rose and Jack get together? (You know they will) What the hell is with the bocking chickens? (Thanks Laura) and when will I get into the actual problem? Who knows? I don't, but we will see soon.  
  
Maybe too soon.  
  
!! !!  
  
~ ~ DrUnKeN TuRtLe 


	3. Chicken quotes

A/N:Ok Chapter 3 finally up for the people who have been reading, I know it's been a while but I've been sick with anticipation for the smallville season finale. I hit my TV when it came up To Be Continued, wow that made me sound really weird. Sorry TV it wasn't your fault!  
  
Anyways, using your Legend of Zelda reference in this chapter Erin, gotta make it longer somehow, I mean it takes what six days to get from Rivendell to the shire right? This will hopefully be a longer chapter and you will get to find out about the chickens! This is still the same night as chap 2.  
  
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Rose was trying as hard as she could to keep from bursting out laughing while she watched Jack talk to all the rich people. It was really funny how he keep taking their insults to the "low" class and throwing them back in their faces. I mean c'mon isn't it funny to see people being laughed at by people in their same class?  
  
Well, he wasn't in the same class as them, but they thought he was so I guess that was good enough.  
  
The men were beginning to walk off to the military tent to discuss tactics against middle earth. Some spies had shown up from scouting ahead and had reported that the shire was full of midgets who probably couldn't tell the difference between an army and a party.  
  
Yeah right.  
  
Oh well suits them all right, Rose wouldn't mind living here the rest of her life, it was nicer than England that was for sure.  
  
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It was Frodo's turn for watch but Boromir couldn't sleep, the chickens were haunting his mind so that all he could think of was the bocking, over and over and over again. He knew of the chickens from the library in Gondor. He had thought they didn't exist but he had been wrong.  
  
Just then the Hobbit stirred, "Hey Boromir, it's my watch isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah, but I'm not tired just go to sleep."  
  
"Ok……?" Soon the Hobbit was fast asleep and snoring again.  
  
Boromir thought of the chickens again and awoke Gandalf. "Meh?" was the response he got.  
  
"Gandalf, Gandalf!"  
  
"What?" he murmured sleepily, annoyed at being awoken.  
  
"Those chickens," he said, "Are they not the personal assassins of the high order?"  
  
"What?!?!?!?" suddenly Gandalf was awake.  
  
"We should kill them well we have the chance!" Boromir hissed.  
  
"Now Boromir, it's not nice to attack chickens, and it's not smart to attack chickens that are three stories tall." Quoted Gandalf wisely (A/N:hehe).  
  
Boromir sighed, Gandalf had to throw that famous quote at him. "But Gandalf!"  
  
"Go to sleep," he interrupted "all will be well in the morning, you will see, the chickens probably have good intentions."  
  
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Boromir mumbled (A/N: I've always wanted to use that!)  
  
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Jack looked over at Rose and handed her a note as he left, winking. She looked down at the note and unfolded it as she looked up to watch him leave; she read it to herself, "Meet me by the automatic weapons tent at 1:00" (A/N: Yes I know they didn't have automatic weapons in the time of the Titanic, I will come to that). Rose looked at the clock by the fire, it read 12:50, and she hurriedly excused herself and ran to the automatic weapons tent getting there just as the clock struck one.  
  
She looked around just to see Jack approaching, "C'mon lets go to a real party."  
  
  
  
He dragged her back to his part of camp where they were playing American Pie on the bagpipes. Rose looked at Jack and they both burst into song despite the fact that American Pie didn't even come into being until many years later.  
  
They started dancing around and getting drunk, they didn't even notice when Cal's butler (A/n: or whatever the hell that guy was) came over and saw Rose, quickly reporting back to Cal.  
  
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Aragorn was on watch when it happened; he saw the chickens running over to their camp not at all slowly. He watched them bock as they waddled over signing along to Harry Potter.  
  
He gazed perplexedly at them as they came over and stood in a line looking at Aragorn. There's a sense of deja-vu in this he thought as the chickens suddenly brandished really long spears. Aragorn did a double take as he watched the chickens do this and suddenly burst out laughing. Seeing a bunch of chickens, little white chickens, who cluck along to Harry Potter, pull out spears isn't very threatening.  
  
The chickens tried to maintain their dignity as Aragorn got himself under control. He looked up at the chickens and burst into laughter anew. The chickens had had quite enough of this nonsense.  
  
"Silence!" called out a chicken but because it was a chicken it came out more "Broocsilence!"  
  
This was too much for poor Aragorn and he couldn't get himself under control he was laughing so hard.  
  
Finally after about an hour of this Aragorn stopped laughing, mostly because his throat hurt, but he still had a huge grin on his face. He looked up again to see the chickens standing the same spots but looking really pissed off at him, despite this the grin stayed on Aragorn's face.  
  
"Boooe haooock, cooome brock Frooock Bagginboooock!" or, "We Have come for Frodo Baggins." Came out as one sound from all the chickens  
  
Despite all his efforts, Aragorn could not decipher what they had said, he looked at them in a puzzled manner and they just stood there for a while until the chicken's patience had worn out and they attacked.  
  
As Aragorn watched the chickens running towards him he realized where he had gotten the feeling of deja vu, "Wow," he thought out loud. "There are nine of you."  
  
  
  
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Yay! Chapter 3, wasn't that special? I've decided to put my disclaimer down here; I think more people read this bit…  
  
Disclaimer: The only things that are mine are, the chickens (not the song they are bocking) the high order and the roll of duct tape soon to come, dun dun dun.  
  
Why do the chickens want Frodo? What is with the Titanic and the things that do not exist yet? What will happen with the chicken? When will any REAL conflict come to the Titanic? Why is there a roll of duct tape in my disclaimer?  
  
Who knows? I don't.  
  
PLeAsE review! (puppy dog eyes) !! !! ~~ ~~ DrUnKeN TuRtLe 


	4. The cliffhanger...

Authors Note: Chapter 4 yay! This was only a couple of day's right? Thanks to all you peeps that reviewed, much obliged! Did I just type out the word obliged? Oh God.  
  
  
  
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Dancing and drunk Jack and Rose continued to drink beer and yell obscene words at everyone else. Rose had taken off her high heels and thrown them in a corner because although they wee meant to be of military design, they were like 5 inch heels goddamnit!.  
  
"What is the problem with the military? I mean, 5-inch heels for war?!?! Talk about sex discrimination!" Rose was yelling at some poor Scottish man "What happened to the vote we won!"  
  
Jack came and whispered in her ear "You haven't won it yet."  
  
"Oh really?" she exclaimed drunkenly  
  
"Really. It's time to get you to your tent, you're nearly dead on your feet."  
  
"But girls just wanna have fun!" She screamed (A/n: sorry my mom is listening to it, * shudders * GOD SAVE ME!)  
  
Jack sighed as he dragged her from the party, "What if we have to fight tomorrow and all we got is hung over fools?"  
  
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Aragorn screamed out "Awake! We are being attacked!" just as the chickens thrust forward and he pulled out his sword. The rest of the company slowly woke up until they saw the pending danger. They quickly jumped up, weapons at the ready.  
  
The chickens fought like mad and were soon defeated. The company thought they were victorious until they heard a boom and a giant chicken stepped out of the bush….  
  
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A/N: Yes I know it was short, I needed to update though so yeah, hopefully it was okay. How does everyone like drunken Rose? "Girls just wanna have fun!" AHHHHHHHHHHH! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!  
  
What will the giant chicken do? Is it three stories tall as in the quote used in the previous chapter? Are we seeing a different side of rose when she's drunk? When will Jack make his move?  
  
All this and more coming up in the next few chapters….  
  
Now to update some other fics (here is my self promotional blurb)  
  
Among them…Star Wars Diaries and Those poor Greeks. Check out my newest fic, posted today which is (gasp) a romance!  
  
  
  
Now some other peoples self promotional blurbs or rather, me blurbing for them! Yay!  
  
Read Erin Roses Fic (penname ErinRose) It's confusing, long and well written, Good Job!  
  
There my Authors notes were longer than the chapter, Chapter 5 coming soon and I promise it will be better. Please R and R!  
  
DrUnKeN TuRtLe  
  
Hehe, my sad cliffhanger… 


	5. Out of the drunken party, into the Heath...

Authors Notes: I was supposed to update some other fics before this one, but this one is getting the most reviews, hehe. Broke my wrist now :'( so sorry if the updates are a little slow,  
  
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The giant chicken must have been 3 stories high! (A/n: ha!) They all looked up in complete shock. "See, I told you attacking three story high chickens is not smart." Gandalf of course.  
  
The chicken attacked leaving hardly any room for the defenders to defend in the little alcove. Legolas fired his arrows and tried everything to stop the chicken, but it was obviously not a maple leaf prime chicken because it was not lean at all, they even doubted whether it went to gym or not!  
  
Everything ricocheted off the chicken's mass of fat as it kept advancing.  
  
Frodo took a giant spear and lunged at the chicken, to no avail. Having angered the chicken Frodo was trapped behind a large birch bark tree.  
  
The giant chicken lunged in for the kill…  
  
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Rose was dragged off to the first class area by Jack who gently placed her on her sleeping bag, luckily Cal wasn't there, he did not know what he would have done about that.  
  
He could just imagine it now, Cal walking to see Jack Dawson in his tent and drunken unconscious Rose on his or her sleeping bag, he shuddered at the awkwardness, just then he heard a noise outside the tent.  
  
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The chicken stabbed Frodo with his own giant spear and Frodo let out an exclamation of pain.  
  
"Mr. Frodo!" Sam screamed across the clearing running straight towards him, but Aragorn held him back, seeing as the chicken was still alive and all.  
  
Just then timely intervention had arrived. Legolas had climbed a VERY tall tree and had jumped on the chicken's head, who looked up in surprise. Legolas shot an arrow straight into the beak of the chicken causing it to convulse.  
  
He jumped back onto the tree just in time, as the chicken began to sway, all the people on the ground began to run frantically around, trying to get out of the way of the soon to fall chicken.  
  
"TIMBER!!!" called Gandalf, ever the one to have the last word, as the chicken tumbled to the ground, knocking out a small forest.  
  
After the crashing stopped they all ran over to Frodo lying in a heather (a/n:hehe) bush.  
  
"Mr. Frodo!" exclaimed Sam  
  
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Jack quickly ran out the tent.  
  
(A/N: Yes that WAS VERY sad.)  
  
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Suddenly, to everyone's surprise, Frodo groaned and got up.  
  
"Aha! There is more to Hobbits than meets the eye!" Gandalf exclaimed and to Frodo's surprise Gimli, Legolas, Boromir and Aragorn all handed him ten bucks mumbling about 'stupid wizards'.  
  
Frodo opened his tunic to reveal a chicken fat piece of armor.  
  
The entire company went "Ohhhh, no wonder he stinks so much."  
  
"He has armor, but now he need armoire!" Gimli burst out laughing.  
  
"For a 'manly' dwarf you know a lot about perfume Gimli." Legolas laughed as Gimli turned bright red.  
  
Then they all went to bed and had various dreams about explosions and video shoots.  
  
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Authors Note: I know I focused on the LOTR more, but I needed to get that night over with, I mean what else was going to happen at the Titanic?  
  
Discliamer: I only own:  
  
-The plotline  
  
-The chickens and anything chicken related EXCEPT the Zelda quote  
  
-My cast, whom my alter ego Geeva lovingly named Getto della porpora del heather  
  
!!~~Heather 


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